WHAT’S WRONG WITH DADDY? | JASE GRAVES
According to the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), about half of Americans are currently trying to lose weight, many of them employing strategies like switching from peanut M&M’s to the plain variety, or drinking more Cherry Coke to increase their intake of fruit. Unfortunately, most diet plans fail, and any calories burned through the exhausting process of signing up for a gym membership are quickly regained through the consumption of a recovery donut on the way home to take a nap. Too bad we can’t all follow the sage advice of the late Benny Hill, who said that the best way to lose ten pounds of ugly fat is to cut off your head.
I kicked off my own dieting journey recently when I was drying off after my morning shower and noticed that I could no longer wrap a towel around my mid-section without the assistance of an industrial ratchet strap. To add insult to injury, the last time my wife and I bought towels, we opted for extra-large “bath sheets,” which apparently can double as bedding when not being used to dry commercial aircraft.
Having already tried a self-designed dieting plan I called the “Cheeto” diet (not to be confused with that newfangled Keto diet), in which I only ate foods described as “cheese-flavored,” I decided to seek medical advice. I already had a doctor’s appointment to see about another personal issue that was threatening to cripple our household plumbing, so while I was there, I asked the doctor about the best way to lose my “spare tire,” which had developed a severe sidewall bulge on each side in the love handle region.
After looking down my throat and looking up my medical records, the doctor suggested that I try a fasting diet. He explained that the diet involves getting regular exercise, skipping breakfast each day of the week and fasting for 24 hours once a week. In other words, this diet takes the novel approach of weight loss through excessive exertion and starvation – commonly known as The Zombie Apocalypse Diet.
It actually hasn’t been all that bad. My internal organs don’t really function properly until around 11:00 AM, so I don’t usually eat much breakfast, anyway – unless Chick-fil-A is involved. I’ve also heard a lot about prayer and fasting at church, and this diet certainly lends itself to praying, mainly that I won’t be tempted to devour our pets.
The biggest problem with the fasting diet, other than my tendency to get a little weepy when I order Chick-fil-A chicken biscuits for my daughters on the way to school, is that when it’s finally time to eat, I’m absolutely ravenous – to the point that I pose a clear and present danger to all nearby edible matter, living or dead. A few nights ago, I’m pretty sure I wolfed down an entire 14-ounce rib-eye without chewing – and that was the appetizer.
To ensure that I get my recommended daily allotment of vitamins, minerals, fiber, and other nutrients missing from food that actually tastes good, the doctor also prescribed an intense battery of dietary supplements to be swallowed by the handful several times a day. I’m starting to think that my daily regimen of supplement capsules is a ruse to fill me up during my fasting periods so I won’t crave something to eat that doesn’t have the consistency of landscaping gravel.
So far, I’m really proud of myself for sticking to my fasting diet plan. Even though I haven’t noticed any results, other than my wife and daughters giving me an unusually wide berth at the dinner table, I’m determined to meet my goals.
Until then, I’ll be looking forward to my next meal – and avoiding eye-contact with the cat.
– Jase Graves is an award-winning humor columnist from East Texas. Other than writing, his primary hobby is sleeping as late as possible. Follow him at Facebook.com/humorwriter.org, and contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This Popular Diet Shuns Tomatoes, Peas & Other Healthy Veggies. So Why Do People Swear By It? – mindbodygreen.com
More and more research is showing that inflammation is a main contributor to chronic diseases. So it’s no surprise that a diet came along intending to address this. The main benefit that the Plant Paradox Diet claims to offer is that it will—you guessed it—reduce inflammation.
So how exactly does the Plant Paradox Diet reduce inflammation? It removes lectins, a protein found in many fruits and vegetables, from your diet, which Dr. Gundry says are edible enemies. Lectins are actually one of the defense mechanisms within certain plants that are intended to keep predators, humans included, from eating them. Among other foods, lectins are found in all nightshades—a popular family of plants including potatoes, peppers (bell as well as hot peppers like chili and jalapeño), eggplants, goji berries, and tomatoes.
So what havoc can these pesky proteins wreak on your body? Potentially a lot.
“A lectin is a type of protein that forces carbs (sugars, starches, and fibers) to clump together and even attach to certain cells in your body when you eat them,” explains Dr. Gundry. “Often, lectins can get in the way of important cells communicating with one another. And when that happens, the body’s response is usually inflammation or some other type of reaction to toxicity, like nausea, diarrhea, or vomiting. A break in cellular communication can also result in symptoms like fatigue or forgetfulness.”
A piece of older research suggests that a diet high in lectins may contribute to autoimmune diseases like Crohn’s disease, celiac, rheumatoid arthritis, and diabetes. Thus, the benefits of following the Plant Paradox Diet and cutting out lectins may include a reduced risk and better management of autoimmune disease and chronic disease—however, there are no clinical trials demonstrating this just yet.
While the goal of the Plant Paradox Diet is to reduce inflammation, weight loss may be an added benefit. There have been many claims of individuals shedding pounds on the Plant Paradox Diet. Many say that it’s not simply the lack of lectin content in the diet but the focus on mindful and healthful eating that results in weight loss. (The diet shuns many processed foods and refined carbs, which doesn’t hurt!)
Osteoporosis warning – Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, warns over ‘ridiculous’ diet plans – Express
Osteoporosis is painful condition that makes the bones more fragile, and likely to break, according to the NHS. It develops very slowly over a number of years, and is often only diagnosed after a fall or bone fracture. People with osteoporosis are more likely to have wrist fractures, vertebrae fractures, and hip fractures than other people. Camilla Parker-Bowles, 71, warned the public that certain ‘fad’ diets may be depriving them of calcium.
Diet plans that include cutting out dairy and other minerals could be bad for your health, warned The Duchess of Cornwall.
Calcium, which is found in dairy foods, is a key mineral that’s essential for life. It helps to keep bones healthy.
Camilla’s warning came after her mother died from osteoporosis 25 years ago, she said.
She urged children to avoid “ridiculous” diet plans while speaking at the Science Museum yesterday, at the launch of the newly-labelled Royal Osteoporosis Society.
“It was 25 years ago that my mother died as a result of osteoporosis,” she said. “In fact, she was exactly the same age as I am now.
“My family and I were completely devastated, but also, we didn’t understand how somebody could be in so much pain, and we were unable, and the doctors seemed unable, to do anything about it.”
Common fad diets are depriving people of the calcium they need to keep their bodies healthy, she added.
“It’s the fad diets, they are the worst thing to do,” she told the Daily Mail. “You are depriving your bones of calcium.
“It is this ridiculous dieting, cutting out dairy and all the things that are good for your bones.
“We need to find a way of educating children that they need to take care of their bodies now instead of aspiring to look like someone they see in a picture if they want to protect themselves in old age.”
It’s crucial to encourage young people to start exercising to boost their overall health, she added.
Osteoporosis is more likely to affect women than men, due to hormone changes during the menopause, said the NHS.
But, you’re also more at risk of the condition if you have a family history of osteoporosis, a body mass index of 19 or less, or have long periods of inactivity.
You could lower your risk of osteoporosis symptoms buy doing regular exercise, it added.
Everyone should aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity activity every week.
It’s also important to eat a healthy, balanced diet, and to make sure you’re topped up on vitamin D.
Dietitian at Silver Cross Hospital in New Lenox discusses latest diet trends – The Herald-News
[Photo courtesy of Timothy Baran]
“They make people mindful of their food choices,” DeAngelis said.
For 30 days, dieters are allowed no alcohol, dairy, grains, legumes or sugar. They may eat moderate amounts of eggs, meat, seafood and some types of fruit. Vegetables are encouraged.
They may also eat nuts, avocado and herbs.
Mayo Clinic said the diet’s founders say this diet may help with the digestive and skin issues, as well as chronic pain and low energy associated with food sensitivities.
DeAngelis said she’s “not a fan” of this diet, even though it does eliminate sugar, “something we all consume a lot in this country.”
“But it is pretty restrictive,” DeAngelis said. “It cuts out entire food groups. It’s missing calcium, and it cuts out legumes and whole grains, which provide a lot of fiber, vitamins and minerals.”
- Kym Johnson-Herjavec flaunts post-baby body 9 months after giving birth to twins – Fox News
- Global Dietary Supplements Market Overview 2019-2026 : Amway, Bayer, Glanbia, Herbalife International of America, Abbott – Industry News Network
- Cutting out on these foods can help combat gastrointestinal issues – Times Now
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Kym Johnson-Herjavec flaunts post-baby body 9 months after giving birth to twins – Fox News
Global Dietary Supplements Market Overview 2019-2026 : Amway, Bayer, Glanbia, Herbalife International of America, Abbott – Industry News Network
Cutting out on these foods can help combat gastrointestinal issues – Times Now
New technique to measure blood clot developed: Details inside – Times Now
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